today's lecture: BEAUTY
beautiful legs, beautiful breasts, beautiful neck, beautiful throat, beautiful eyes, beautiful cheeks, beautiful hips, beautiful ass, beautiful face, beautiful lips, beautiful, eyes, beautiful, hair, beautiful hands, beautiful shoulders, beautiful necklace, beautiful lipst
.....fashion~ boots~ purses~ heels~ jewelry~ scarves : beauty?
..... lipstick.... hair coloring.... eye shadow... mascara: beauty?
......a look> a feeling> a face> a model: beauty?
beautiful. that is beautiful, she is beautiful, it is beautiful, those are beautiful breasts, that is a beautiful ass, those are beautiful eyes, that is a beautiful leg, she is beautiful, her hair is beautiful, her dress is beautiful, her eyelashes are beautiful, her skin is beautiful, her ankle is beautiful, she is beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, i want her, i want her, i need her, i need it, i need to be with the beautiful, i want to be beautiful, what is beautiful, how can i be beautiful? what do i need to do to become beautiful? how will i get to be beautiful? why can't i be beautiful? why is she beautiful? full of beauty, bountiful, beautiful, bountiful, full of bounty. Bounty hunter, head hunter, beautiful. Beautiful huntress, hunting beauty. beauty and bounty. i want the bounty. i want to be her, i want to be beautiful. i am not beautiful because i want to be beautiful, therefore i am not beautiful. i am only wanting to be beautiful. i am waiting. they say i am beautiful, but she is more beautiful, i cannot be as beautiful as she is beautiful. there is only so much beauty, only a certain beauty now, the beauty can never be me, i am not beautiful or bountiful, but she is beautiful over there, she is very beautiful over there. she has better skin, hair, breasts, legs, belly, arms, face, she is more beautiful, they are more beautiful than i am, i am not beautiful.
and then
i saw her yesterday. i saw her in my store, i saw her there where she didn't belong, her greasy hair, hair on her face, prickly stubs sticking out from a dark mole on her cheek, baggy pants, sallow skin, loose skin, round body, flabs of pink skin hanging, messy clothes nothing ironed, no make-up, there she was existing, how dare she exist this way, she is existing, i see her existing, only existing, nothing noticeably obvious to hold onto, no image, no trying, nothing, she is nothing, no straining to be beautiful, she is ugly, ugly, ugly, the image so ugly this bag lady needs to go away, ignore her, just ignore her, she isn't trying, she isn't doing one damn fucking thing to be beautiful, well she could never be beautiful, she needs to go away and hide, she isn't helping us be beautiful, she is staring at me, she is making me look at her, i don't want to be look at her not trying, now i am unable not to know she exists, of course she is existing, she isn't trying to be beautiful, i am not going to be able to ignore her, she isn't ignoring me, she is making me feel beautiful, she is looking at me and making me feel beautiful, she is looking at me and making me feel like crying and not trying, now i see her, i see her, she is beautiful, i see her, i see her beauty, how do i see beauty? she sees me trying, my trying and i am watching her, through my tired, sad eyes of trying and seeing nothing, being invisible, searching for beauty, i watch her, she is not waiting, she is not waiting to become beautiful, she is looking at me waiting, she is smiling with her dirty teeth, her hairy chin, her peaked sallow cheeks, tired puffy eyes, greasy hair rubbing her dirty collar, her eyes fixated on my waiting, she is smiling, she is giving her beauty, i see now her beauty, our eyes meeting where there is nothing but beauty, i see her eyes and her beauty, her love and her knowledge of beauty, her peace and her acceptance of her nothing invisibility, she is giving me some kind of non-waiting love, she is giving me permission to find her ugly beauty, she is beautiful, i am ashamed because she is so beautiful and i am so ugly, i want to be her, i want to be invisibly nothing like her, i want to be not waiting to be beautiful, i want to be more invisible than i already am, she is visibly beautifully invisibly beautiful, she is out of the running for beauty, she is out of the competition for beauty, she cares nothing for the need or desire for the unreal beauty, she is peace, she is full of bounty, full of nothing, nothing, nothing, she is invisibly beautiful, she is full of beauty, whose beauty? what beauty? invisible beauty, nothing, nothing, nothing, who wrote the book of beauty? she is nothing in the book of beauty, to be nothing is to be not beautiful, they say, so they say, now i see the nothing, now i see that nothing is true beauty, to be nothing in the book of beauty, to be nothing is to be beautifully invisible, empty, beauty, empty, full of beauty, filled up on beauty years, experiences, life, angers, sadness, grieving, loss, loves, joys, thrills, orgasms, longing, filled up with life, with beauty, full of beautiful life: gray hair, wrinkles, ancient eyes, infant eyes, body of wonder, body of proof, body of birth, body of odors, body of hair, body of milk and blood, body of womb, beautiful beautiful beautiful, she is beautiful, rage and sage, nag and rag, beautiful sagging hag beautiful, she touches my arms filled with waiting, she looks into my eyes filled with waiting, she gives me her bounty full of beauty, she leaves me empty, she is turning and going and leaving me empty. now i can fill up and spill over with bounty, i am beautiful.
~~~~~~~~
what is beauty in woman? what do we grow up seeing, hearing, thinking about beauty and then spending all our time trying to copy this idea, this spoon-fed belief about beauty and ourselves, our bodies? what was your idea of beauty? how were you taught to think about beauty for the female who is called woman? "one is not born, but rather becomes a woman...[simone de beauvoir, 'the second sex']...that each person is unique, and it is culture which has enforced a uniform set of expectations of what is "feminine," as contrasted to what is "human" which is equated with what is male" and so i pose that the female can free herself from the imposed belief that beauty is something she must work towards to 'become' rather than beauty being a reality of existence and has nothing to do with being the OTHER separate from the male who is taught to see the female as WOMAN who is born to serve in many ways. You must fill in the blanks yourself about this serving society as 'woman,' what it means about beauty and the trying, taking up precious time, as Beauvior says 'you must make individual decisions and [take] collective action'....have discussions about beauty, with yourself and with others, FOR the female collective, our daughters and granddaughters. I believe the female can be freed from the tethers of being defined as 'womanly' and all that entails to MAKE it happen, the unending tiring trying in the search for the bounty of beauty.
I believe beauty is the seed, the core of our existence, at birth, as female, not woman, all that we have to not be undone, but to embrace and the female's most important work is to re-claim this truth and reality.
The importance in this one ACT and the magnitude of its effect on the female life cannot be quantified or qualified.
world without end [because of the female]
Ah-WOMB-on
world without end
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Thursday, July 14, 2011
peace through strength of VOICE
PEACE THROUGH STRENGTH OF VOICE
I became very aware at a very young age that what I wanted most in life was to communicate with words how I feel, think, believe and I've wanted to reach out in this way first and foremost, although to communicate your feelings you must be very strong for the backlash to keep emotions at bay is in full swing all the time around you, especially as a child....I believe in peace through strength of staying the course with a truth about LOVE being stronger than anything, about LIFE being stronger than simply waiting for death, about BIRTH and the mother/child connection being stronger than any organized religion teaching dogma which keeps the female on the planet silent, invisible, in service, less than.
In reaching out to people through emotion, passion, righteous anger to bring resolution and change, I believe we will continue to cycle with the universe towards a time when humans will bring an end to their need to power over all other living beings. I hope you will join me in reaching out to create dialogue so that people can know who you are, what you feel, though the first impulse is to try to say what others want you to say.
Do not fear anyone and do not make anyone afraid of you. Find some kind of community service to help others.
My work in my past has been rooted in serving the community of people with disabilities, though my belief is we are all disabled in some way, we are all abled in other ways and we must reach out to support each other in the ways we are challenged. In the last two years I have experienced what felt like extreme challenges. For the first time in my life I realized I was going to need to ask for support and help. After being a care giver for over thirty years with and for other people with different disabilities.
In January, 2009, I almost lost my right eye to a retina detachment, I was lucky and got to surgery in time to retain half the sight in that eye. My doctor treated me like I was his friend and he had this skill which could help me heal. Then I began having elevated blood pressure and finally an x-ray revealed I had no cartilage in my right hip. So on 12/2010 I took my first SS check along with my eldest daughter's help,
I flew to LA and had a total hip replacement.
I was thrilled to walk again and play with my grandchildren instead of wincing in pain. But at the exact time of my surgery I lost my housing and job caring for an adult woman with developmental disabilities. A direct result of my confronting and challenging her parents over four years to change their attitude towards their daughter''s care, to be accountable for neglect. On a plane, 3 days after my hip surgery, headed back to Seattle, I received a phone call telling me I was fired. This lost me the only job I had any security with at that time and my partner and I became homeless. My yougest daughter went to work and found us an apartment we could move into.
My being removed from that job was not only harmful to my sense of security, but my life's work has also been to confront injustice in regard to how we regard the value of work. We all know that anyone that works with the human being, i.e. mothers, daycare, nannies, grandmothers, maids, drivers, cooks, etc. are devalued and work harder than anyone on the planet. I will continue Voicing the disparity of this practice for the rest of my life.
I am now living in subsidized housing, I am a minority here not only my race, but also many good neigbors who Christians. My religion has always been nature, birth and to me God is LOVE. There is also lots of poverty and ill health in our population. I pass many people in the lobby in walkers, I take the elevator with people bent over, withered with age and a life of hard work.
What I have found here is that these people have to walk with faith and hope and the majority embrace me and my husband with great joy and acceptance, very little racism against us, though in my heart white people have very little to complain about....I live on less than 100$/mo. after rent & bills now and I know that I've lived a privileged life because I am WHITE and because my adult children back me on every level of my ageing issues.
I walk the streets of South Seattle witnessing the segregation in Seattle. I travel to other parts of Seattle and witness wealth and privilege. And when I feel anger [never envy!] I breathe and pray to allow compassion to flow through me for ignorance that still prevails because people live and act out of fear.
I wanted to raise my children outside the materialistic world. I wanted them to believe that RICHNESS comes from family, from LOVE, from giving to others, to be aware that one cannot live differently than others unless you are willing to believe you are above others. Did I do them a disservice? I don't know. Did I live out my life in this way because I am afraid to be "successful" in regard to my choice in work or my economic status? I think I lived out my life with many challenges because of what I experienced in life and it did limit me for many years, but I know in my heart that my choices are rooted in my solidarity with people who have 'less' than people who have 'more.'
I need very little materially, I crave, however, MORE LOVE, MORE COMMUNITY....I am lonely for the loud clatter of children in my home, I long for my daughters and sons exchange of everyday life.
I am now once again 'divorced, that final third marriage teaching me once again my needs, my beliefs about a traditional marriage, my expectations about being nurtured, though throughout all of those years of being married to I have not found someone to share my life with and while for years I felt I had failed, I realize that I was simply desperate for love and had no idea that my idea of love was not marriage, not being a wife, not being someone that played a role. It was a need to nurture and be nurtured, to share, to be protected and so much more...Anyone who might read this who has this or craves this reality knows how it feels. Safe. Believed. Honest. I don't have to write a lot about that.
Blessings to everyone and may we continue to put LOVE in kindness, generosity, compassion and belief in people with needs.
"And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."-- Anais Nin
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Give us your Tired your poor.....
"Undocumented immigrants have even fewer protections. Recently I heard about a drywall company in Seattle that hired undocumented immigrants and made them scale tall buildings without a safety harness. One of the immigrants fell and cracked his skull. The boss was so scared he would be reported for hiring undocumented workers that he refused to allow the other employees to call 911. He threatened their jobs. Finally one of them did call. The worker who fell lived but had serious brain damage, and a lawsuit was brought against the employer." Pramila Jayapal [We Are One America]
The term "immigrant" is often considered to be rather disparaging; a person from a poorer country settling in a richer one would be called an immigrant, but people from a richer country permanently living in a poorer one might call themselves "settlers", or speak of retiring to, rather than immigrating into, a country with better weather and lower living costs.
Everyone's foreign in America
Everyone's come here from some
foreign shore...before us lies
Glory Land...
Restore us to Glory Land...
[cris williamson from album~Prairie Road] go to the link below and click on song: Grandmother's Land and hear this short clip of the above lyrics.......
http://www.criswilliamson.com/about/music/praire_fire.html
www.weareoneamerica.org
"....the U.S. media broadcast around the globe the idea that America is a luxurious and ideal place to live, a place where you can find opportunities that you can't get anywhere else. If we advertise that America is the best country in the world, then we shouldn't be surprised when people show up...."
Recent surveys by Gallup found roughly 700 million adults would like to migrate to another country permanently if they had the chance. The United States is the top desired destination country. Nearly one-quarter (24%) of these respondents, which translates to more than 165 million adults worldwide, name the United States as their desired future residence. With an additional estimated 45 million saying they would like to move to Canada, Northern America is one of the two most desired regions. The rest of the top desired destination countries (those where an estimated 25 million or more adults would like to go) are predominantly European. Forty-five million adults who would like to move to the United Kingdom or to France as their desired destination, while 35 million would like to go to Spain and 25 million would like to relocate to Germany. Thirty million to Saudi Arabia and 25 million to Australia. [wikipedia]
******
The term "immigrant" is often considered to be rather disparaging; a person from a poorer country settling in a richer one would be called an immigrant, but people from a richer country permanently living in a poorer one might call themselves "settlers", or speak of retiring to, rather than immigrating into, a country with better weather and lower living costs.
Everyone's foreign in America
Everyone's come here from some
foreign shore...before us lies
Glory Land...
Restore us to Glory Land...
[cris williamson from album~Prairie Road] go to the link below and click on song: Grandmother's Land and hear this short clip of the above lyrics.......
http://www.criswilliamson.com/about/music/praire_fire.html
www.weareoneamerica.org
"....the U.S. media broadcast around the globe the idea that America is a luxurious and ideal place to live, a place where you can find opportunities that you can't get anywhere else. If we advertise that America is the best country in the world, then we shouldn't be surprised when people show up...."
Recent surveys by Gallup found roughly 700 million adults would like to migrate to another country permanently if they had the chance. The United States is the top desired destination country. Nearly one-quarter (24%) of these respondents, which translates to more than 165 million adults worldwide, name the United States as their desired future residence. With an additional estimated 45 million saying they would like to move to Canada, Northern America is one of the two most desired regions. The rest of the top desired destination countries (those where an estimated 25 million or more adults would like to go) are predominantly European. Forty-five million adults who would like to move to the United Kingdom or to France as their desired destination, while 35 million would like to go to Spain and 25 million would like to relocate to Germany. Thirty million to Saudi Arabia and 25 million to Australia. [wikipedia]
************
..................I often debate anti-immigration pundits on radio and television — like Tucker Carlson on msnbc and John Carlson, who has a conservative radio show here in Seattle. When they say, “Just deport them all!” I ask whether they’ve ever tried to live a day without the services or food provided by an undocumented immigrant. You couldn’t do anything except sit, probably in a very dirty house or hotel room. [Laughs.] I also tell them Social Security would collapse without undocumented immigrants..........******
Part of what OneAmerica does is inform people about the immigration-and-detention system. For example, after 250 detainees got food poisoning at the Tacoma Detention Center, we invited people to come and sample a detainee meal. We wanted to encourage Americans to think about what it might be like to get food poisoning while stuck in a bureaucratic jail system. Most people are horrified to learn that these things happen, but they don’t take action, because they think it’s an isolated occurrence. We’re trying to make people act on their core beliefs about how human beings should be treated. OneAmerica has worked with many clients who have had medical conditions in a detention center and been unable to see a doctor. One of our clients was pregnant and wasn’t allowed her prenatal visits. Finally, in her eighth month of pregnancy, she was released onto the street with no money. Perhaps they were afraid she would deliver her baby in the detention center. The detention industry is enormous and growing. I think that the more the industry is privatized, the way the prison industry is becoming, the more human-rights abuses we’re going to see..........
*********
The reasons people immigrate are multifaceted. More people are moving around the world today because of political, social, and economic strife than ever before. Many times it is U.S. foreign policy driving this migration. For instance, after the North American Free Trade Agreement [nafta] was passed, more than a million Mexican farmers were driven out of business because they could not compete with subsidized U.S. farmers, and undocumented immigration from Mexico rose by 60 percent. If somebody has to leave his or her home to earn a living, you could describe that as “seeking opportunity,” or you could call it “forced migration.” NAFTA talks about a “borderless world” in which goods are freely traded back and forth, but if people can’t legally travel across the border and access jobs on the other side, these trade agreements benefit only corporations, many of which relocate just across the Mexican border so they can pay lower wages.
[see entire article/interview: http://www.thesunmagazine.org/issues/395/without_a_country
~~~~~~~~~~~
Stopping illegal immigration would mean that wages would have to rise to a level where Americans would want the jobs currently taken by illegal aliens. Thomas Sowell
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
"Revolution is not a one time event. "
today my blog is dedicated to Audre Lorde..."I am a black, lesbian, mother, warrior, poet"
In an African naming ceremony before her death, she took the name Gamba Adisa, which means "Warrior: She Who Makes Her Meaning Known"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When I began watching the Egyptian protests, my ordinary life
"Dr. King’s last act on Earth, marching in Memphis, Tenn., was about workers’ rights to collective bargaining and rights to dues checkoff. You cannot remove the roof for the wealthy and remove the floor for the poor." [jesse jackson marching w/teachers and students in Wisconsin, 2011]
and
"Egypt supports Wisconsin: ONE WORLD, ONE PAIN" [see photo of source]:
http://dudelol.com/egypt-supports-wisconsin-workers-one-world-one-pain/
and MOST IMPORTANTLY!
""The master's tools will never dismantle the master's house" [audre lorde, 1984 ]
She wants her difference acknowledged but not judged; she does not want to be subsumed into the one general category of 'woman.
from poem "power"
The difference between poetry and rhetoric
is being ready to kill
yourself
instead of your children.
I want this book to be filled with shards of light thrown off from the shifting tensions between the dissimilar, for that is the real stuff of creation and growth."
Lorde focused her discussion of difference not only on differences between groups of women but between conflicting differences within the individual. "I am defined as other in every group I'm part of", she declared. "The outsider, both strength and weakness. Yet without community there is certainly no liberation, no future, only the most vulnerable and temporary armistice between me and my oppression".[14] She described herself both as a part of a "continuum of women"[15] and a "concert of voices" within herself
Lorde stunned white feminists with her claim that racism, sexism and homophobia were linked, all coming from the failure to recognise or inability to respect difference. To allow these differences to continue to function as dividers, she believed, would be to replicate the oppression of women: as long as society continues to function in binaries, with a mandatory greater and lesser, Normative and Other, women will never be free.
In response, Lorde wrote "what you hear in my voice is fury, not suffering. Anger, not moral authority."[13]
"A Litany for Survival
For those of us who live at the shoreline
standing upon the constant edges of decision
crucial and alone
for those of us who cannot indulge
the passing dreams of choice
who love in doorways coming and going
in the hours between dawns
looking inward and outward
at once before and after
seeking a now that can breed
futures
like bread in our children's mouths
so their dreams will not reflect
the death of ours:
For those of us
who were imprinted with fear
like a faint line in the center of our foreheads
learning to be afraid with our mother's milk
for by this weapon
this illusion of some safety to be found
the heavy-footed hoped to silence us
For all of us
this instant and this triumph
We were never meant to survive.
And when the sun rises we are afraid
it might not remain
when the sun sets we are afraid
it might not rise in the morning
when our stomachs are full we are afraid
of indigestion
when our stomachs are empty we are afraid
we may never eat again
when we are loved we are afraid
love will vanish
when we are alone we are afraid
love will never return
and when we speak we are afraid
our words will not be heard
nor welcomed
but when we are silent
we are still afraid
So it is better to speak
remembering
we were never meant to survive."
— Audre Lorde (The Black Unicorn: Poems)
In an African naming ceremony before her death, she took the name Gamba Adisa, which means "Warrior: She Who Makes Her Meaning Known"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When I began watching the Egyptian protests, my ordinary life
"Dr. King’s last act on Earth, marching in Memphis, Tenn., was about workers’ rights to collective bargaining and rights to dues checkoff. You cannot remove the roof for the wealthy and remove the floor for the poor." [jesse jackson marching w/teachers and students in Wisconsin, 2011]
and
"Egypt supports Wisconsin: ONE WORLD, ONE PAIN" [see photo of source]:
http://dudelol.com/egypt-supports-wisconsin-workers-one-world-one-pain/
and MOST IMPORTANTLY!
""The master's tools will never dismantle the master's house" [audre lorde, 1984 ]
She wants her difference acknowledged but not judged; she does not want to be subsumed into the one general category of 'woman.
from poem "power"
The difference between poetry and rhetoricis being ready to killyourselfinstead of your children.I want this book to be filled with shards of light thrown off from the shifting tensions between the dissimilar, for that is the real stuff of creation and growth."
Lorde focused her discussion of difference not only on differences between groups of women but between conflicting differences within the individual. "I am defined as other in every group I'm part of", she declared. "The outsider, both strength and weakness. Yet without community there is certainly no liberation, no future, only the most vulnerable and temporary armistice between me and my oppression".[14] She described herself both as a part of a "continuum of women"[15] and a "concert of voices" within herself
Lorde stunned white feminists with her claim that racism, sexism and homophobia were linked, all coming from the failure to recognise or inability to respect difference. To allow these differences to continue to function as dividers, she believed, would be to replicate the oppression of women: as long as society continues to function in binaries, with a mandatory greater and lesser, Normative and Other, women will never be free.
In response, Lorde wrote "what you hear in my voice is fury, not suffering. Anger, not moral authority."[13]
"A Litany for Survival
For those of us who live at the shoreline
standing upon the constant edges of decision
crucial and alone
for those of us who cannot indulge
the passing dreams of choice
who love in doorways coming and going
in the hours between dawns
looking inward and outward
at once before and after
seeking a now that can breed
futures
like bread in our children's mouths
so their dreams will not reflect
the death of ours:
For those of us
who were imprinted with fear
like a faint line in the center of our foreheads
learning to be afraid with our mother's milk
for by this weapon
this illusion of some safety to be found
the heavy-footed hoped to silence us
For all of us
this instant and this triumph
We were never meant to survive.
And when the sun rises we are afraid
it might not remain
when the sun sets we are afraid
it might not rise in the morning
when our stomachs are full we are afraid
of indigestion
when our stomachs are empty we are afraid
we may never eat again
when we are loved we are afraid
love will vanish
when we are alone we are afraid
love will never return
and when we speak we are afraid
our words will not be heard
nor welcomed
but when we are silent
we are still afraid
So it is better to speak
remembering
we were never meant to survive."
— Audre Lorde (The Black Unicorn: Poems)
The Fon creation myth is the traditional creation story of the Fon peoples of West Africa. Various versions of the creation story are told. In most the creator is either Mawu, the moon being and mother of all the gods and humanity, or Mawu-Lisa, the sun/moon being who is both male and female. In others, Nana Buluku is the ultimate creator, an androgynous deity who gave birth to the female Mawu and the male Lisa and passed the power over creation to them.
Many of the creation accounts tell of Mawu creating everything as she was carried from place to place on the back or in the mouth of Aido Hwedo, the rainbow serpent. The earth was created first, its curves, slopes and rises shaped by the winding, snaking motions of Aido Hwedo. Mountains formed from Aido Hwedo's excrement wherever they stopped to rest, leaving precious minerals inside. When Mawu finished, all of the mountains, trees, elephants and other creations left world too heavy, so she asked Aido Hwedo to coil, to encircle the earth and rest underneath to support its weight.
Aido Hwedo holds his own tail in his mouth to hold fast to the earth, and rests in the cool of the seas which Mawu made for him to protect him from the heat. Mawu's son, Agbe, now commands them. Whenever Aido Hwedo shifts or readjusts his position, he causes an earthquake or tidal wave.[Fon is a major West African ethnic and linguistic group in the country of Benin, and southwest Nigeria, made up of more than 3,500,000 people. The Fon language is the main language spoken in Southern Benin, and is a member of the Gbe language group. The Fon are said to originate from Tado, a village in south east Togo, near the border with Benin.]
IF NOTHING CHANGES NOTHING CHANGES
march 1, 2011....Pisces Sun, Aquarius Moon, Pisces Mercury, Venus Capricorn>Aquarius 3/2!, Mars Pisces, Jupiter Aries, Saturn retrograde in Libra.
The Moon enters Aquarius early in the day, bringing our more humanitarian qualities to the surface. Venus sextiles Uranus this morning, which also favors social interactions. We aim to treat others with equality and respect - as true friends - and we find it easier to embrace change and to interact with others without fear or shyness. A taste for the offbeat is in order. There can be some oversensitivity, however, with Mercury semi-square Venus this morning - an influence that doesn't favor practical tasks that require concentration. Venus enters Aquarius tonight, where it will stay until March 27th. During this cycle, we move towards unconventionality, independence, and freedom as themes in our social relationships. Aquarius can be just as faithful as Capricorn, but it has to be on his own terms! Experimental relationships are more intriguing now. Being friends as well as lovers is important to us during this cycle. Allowing one another freedom of expression, and treating others fairly, unselfishly, and impartially, are themes now.
i'm sitting here drinking my morning coffee, pretty riled up
and if you aren't familiar with that phrase 'riled up' i've just dated myself [i mean who cares i'm 62 going on 14 anyway, what's age really??]
OR it's regional, you cross a state line, utter a cliche and no one knows what you are talking about
this happened to me in texas. everyone i said i bawled all night [of course is said that
all i do is cry] and the eyes rolled
what?!
i like this word a lot: RILED
but then i'm no feminine flower, i have no desire to keep the peace, just look good, roll over, lay down, be under-standing, patiently agree, pretend, compromise, deliver, be docile, be sweet [however i draw the line at kind]
Adj.
1. riled - aroused to impatience or anger; "made an irritated gesture"; "feeling nettled from the constant teasing"; "peeved about being left out"; "felt really pissed at her snootiness"; "riled no end by his lies"; "roiled by the delay"…
synonyms: annoyed, irritated, miffed, nettled, peeved, pissed, pissed off, roiled, stung, steamed,
displeased, not pleased; experiencing or manifesting displeasure
the purpose of this email/blog [i've yet to actually use my blog
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n8Kxq9uFDes
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joe_Hill
• Hill was memorialized in a tribute poem written about him c. 1930 by Alfred Hayes titled "I Dreamed I Saw Joe Hill Last Night", sometimes referred to simply as "Joe Hill".[12] Hayes's lyrics were turned into a song in 1936 by Earl Robinson.
• Paul Robeson and Pete Seeger often performed this song and are associated with it, along with Irish folk group The Dubliners. Joan Baez's Woodstock performance of "Joe Hill" in 1969 is one of the best known recordings. She also recorded the song numerous times, including a live version on her 2005 album Bowery Songs. Scott Walker recorded a version for his album The Moviegoer.
--
"the more we love, the more real we become"
"When you truly possess all that you've been and done, you become fierce with reality." stephen levine
"ring the bells that still can ring
forget your perfect offering"
"There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in."
- from Anthem by Leonard Cohen
The Moon enters Aquarius early in the day, bringing our more humanitarian qualities to the surface. Venus sextiles Uranus this morning, which also favors social interactions. We aim to treat others with equality and respect - as true friends - and we find it easier to embrace change and to interact with others without fear or shyness. A taste for the offbeat is in order. There can be some oversensitivity, however, with Mercury semi-square Venus this morning - an influence that doesn't favor practical tasks that require concentration. Venus enters Aquarius tonight, where it will stay until March 27th. During this cycle, we move towards unconventionality, independence, and freedom as themes in our social relationships. Aquarius can be just as faithful as Capricorn, but it has to be on his own terms! Experimental relationships are more intriguing now. Being friends as well as lovers is important to us during this cycle. Allowing one another freedom of expression, and treating others fairly, unselfishly, and impartially, are themes now.
i'm sitting here drinking my morning coffee, pretty riled up
and if you aren't familiar with that phrase 'riled up' i've just dated myself [i mean who cares i'm 62 going on 14 anyway, what's age really??]
OR it's regional, you cross a state line, utter a cliche and no one knows what you are talking about
this happened to me in texas. everyone i said i bawled all night [of course is said that
all i do is cry] and the eyes rolled
what?!
i like this word a lot: RILED
but then i'm no feminine flower, i have no desire to keep the peace, just look good, roll over, lay down, be under-standing, patiently agree, pretend, compromise, deliver, be docile, be sweet [however i draw the line at kind]
Adj.
1. riled - aroused to impatience or anger; "made an irritated gesture"; "feeling nettled from the constant teasing"; "peeved about being left out"; "felt really pissed at her snootiness"; "riled no end by his lies"; "roiled by the delay"…
synonyms: annoyed, irritated, miffed, nettled, peeved, pissed, pissed off, roiled, stung, steamed,
displeased, not pleased; experiencing or manifesting displeasure
the purpose of this email/blog [i've yet to actually use my blog
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n8Kxq9uFDes
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joe_Hill
• Hill was memorialized in a tribute poem written about him c. 1930 by Alfred Hayes titled "I Dreamed I Saw Joe Hill Last Night", sometimes referred to simply as "Joe Hill".[12] Hayes's lyrics were turned into a song in 1936 by Earl Robinson.
• Paul Robeson and Pete Seeger often performed this song and are associated with it, along with Irish folk group The Dubliners. Joan Baez's Woodstock performance of "Joe Hill" in 1969 is one of the best known recordings. She also recorded the song numerous times, including a live version on her 2005 album Bowery Songs. Scott Walker recorded a version for his album The Moviegoer.
--
"the more we love, the more real we become"
"When you truly possess all that you've been and done, you become fierce with reality." stephen levine
"ring the bells that still can ring
forget your perfect offering"
"There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in."
- from Anthem by Leonard Cohen
Monday, May 31, 2010
truly making the child safe
KIDS Center 1375 NW Kingston Ave. Bend, OR 97701 Ph: 541-383-5958 Fax: 541-322-0580 Web: www.kidscenter.org 6
Talking to Your Child about Sex & Sexual Abuse (adapted from Georgia Center for Child Advocacy)
Start Early
Children are already hearing about sex through the media and other children.
It is best to start talking with children about sexuality in early childhood.
Always be open and available and listen carefully to what your child asks.
Keep the language simple but always use correct terms.
Do not try to cover everything at once.
Is There Such a Thing as Giving Too Much Information?
No. Information does not encourage a child to be sexually active.
Most parents are uncomfortable talking about sex, so be open about this and don’t cover up your
feelings or avoid the issue.
Children just want to know that they are normal. So teach them that it is “normal” for everyone to be
different.
Answer honestly, and if you do not know an answer, look it up together.
Share your Family Values
Set good examples for children.
Be clear about your values and let them know other families may have different values.
Let children know what you expect of them and help them to understand consequences- Do not use
scare tactics.
Be encouraging- allow them to explore their thoughts and feelings about sexuality.
When a Young Child Asks…
“Where did I come from?”- give them a simple, straightforward answer like “You were made in
Mommy’s tummy, and that’s where you grew until you were ready to be born” or “ A seed from
Daddy and an egg from Mommy mixed together and formed a new baby- you.”
“What is sex?” – “Sex is a kind of cuddling Mommy and Daddy do to show how much they love each
other” or “Sex is a way grown ups who love each other can be as close as possible, to cuddle and kiss
in a special way.”
“How is the new baby going to get out of your tummy?”- Say something simple like “After a long
time, the baby grows too big for Mommy’s tummy, so it has to be born” or “After the baby gets too
big Daddy will take Mommy to the hospital, where the doctors can help the baby to be born.”
Provide older children with more specific information.
Talk to your Children about Sexual Abuse
Plan a time for you and your child to sit down and begin to discuss this topic.
Explain to your child what parts of the body are private and should never be touched by another adult
or child.
Let your child know that if anyone touches them in these private areas they must come and tell youno
matter who it is.
Use everyday opportunities to talk- if he is uncomfortable around a certain person, ask why. If he is
worried by something he sees or hears, talk about it.
Revisit the topic at different ages- talk to your child about relationships, boundaries and sexual abuse
from early childhood through the teenage years.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Childhood Sexual Development (adapted from Georgia Center for Child Advocacy and Darkness to Light) Normal Sexual Development
Infancy - Birth to Age 2
Much of an infant’s learning is sensory related, focused on touch and smell. One of the first things they learn is their own body. Boys discover their penis around 7 months and girls discover their vulva around 9 months.
Infant boys have erections regularly and infant girls lubricate, but this not a response to erotic stimulation.
These are natural responses to touch, friction, or the need to urinate. Children at this age:
Learn about love and trust through relationships with caregivers
Develop a sense of trust
Learn and explore their bodies through the sense of touch, including their genitals
May have spontaneous reactions that appear sexual but are not (e.g., erection or lubrication)
Have no inhibitions about nudity
Begin to learn distinction between male/female and learn expected behaviors
Adults can facilitate healthy sexual development by:
Using correct terms for body parts
Modeling “comfortable” touch (e.g., hugs that are not forced upon the child)
Talking to child about boundaries as the opportunity arises (e.g., during diapering or bath, tell child that
genitals are off limits)
Toddler and Preschool Years - Ages 2 to 5
By the age of 3, children will have a clear sense of whether they are a boy or a girl and they will become very
curious about the opposite sex. Because genitals are usually covered, interest in these areas may be heightened.
This is a great opportunity to introduce the concept of privacy for themselves and others. Teach and
encourage the child to use correct terminology to describe genitalia: penis and vagina. Children at this age:
Develop language to describe genitalia
Should clearly know the differences between males and females and begin to understand male/female
roles
May know basics of human reproduction (e.g., babies grow inside mother’s tummy)
May show curiosity about adult genitalia (e.g., may try to see Mommy nude)
Have no inhibitions about nudity
May play house or doctor, or engage in consensual genital exploration with same-age peers
May masturbate often
Adults can facilitate healthy sexual development by:
Teaching child the difference between comfortable and appropriate touch, and uncomfortable and
unacceptable touch
Modeling comfortable touch by not forcing child to have physical contact (e.g., no forced hugs or kisses,
no wrestling if child protests)
Modeling privacy during bathing and toileting
Giving child permission to be private about his/her own nudity
Using everyday opportunities to teach the fundamentals of sexuality (e.g., if child asks questions about sex,
give simple and direct answers)
Teaching child that touching oneself feels good, is OK, and is done in private
Teaching child to respect others’ boundaries and privacy
Middle Childhood - Ages 5 to 8
Gender role socialization is heightened during this period and children tend to show a strong preference for
gender typed clothing and activity. Some children in this age range will masturbate, but only a minority; it will
increase again during adolescence. Children at this age:
Begin to have more stable friendships with children of the same sex
Will want to be liked their peers and start to feel peer pressure
May be affected by stories they hear in media about violence, sex, or drugs
Understand physical, behavioral, and emotional distinctions between males and females (gender identity
solidifies and stabilizes)
Should have a basic understanding of puberty (some children, especially girls, will show early signs of
puberty)
Should have a basic understanding of human reproduction
May understand differences in sexual orientation
Will begin to become modest about nudity
May masturbate or engage in consensual genital exploration with same-age (and/or same-sex) peers
Adults can facilitate healthy sexual development by:
Respecting child’s need for privacy
Being clear with child about respect for people’s boundaries and need for privacy
Talking with child about bodily responses, especially those that are precursors to sexual response (e.g., “it
feels good to touch one’s genitals), and about what is and is not appropriate during peer interaction
Modeling healthy, intimate adult relationships and effective communication
Teaching child about male and female puberty (by 7-8 years old)
Using everyday opportunities to teach child about sexuality and reproduction (children should know the
“birds and the bees” by no later than 9 years old; research also shows that children whose parents talk
with them about sexuality are less likely to become sexually active at an early age)
Recognizing Healthy Behavior
Why Children Masturbate
Masturbation is normal! There is nothing harmful to the child about masturbation itself. It does not cause
physical or emotional problems for the child. Children often begin masturbating at around 18 months and
will peak between ages 3-5.
For infants and toddlers, this usually involves body sensations, cuddling and touching, and playing with
toys.
Children will masturbate as part of natural curiosity about their bodies.
It can be a form of pleasure or method of self-soothing during times of stress.
Many children engage in sexual behavior and show sexual interest throughout their entire childhood.
These sexual behaviors are usually not overtly sexual, but are more exploratory and playful.
How Parents Should React to Masturbation
Remain calm. It is important for a parent not to overreact to masturbation.
If you catch a child in the act don’t act surprised and do not punish the child. Provide reassurance and
avoid saying anything that can cause guilt.
Punishment can lead to negative effects on the child’s self esteem, body image and later development of
sexual identity.
Explain that this is something that should be done in private (e.g., the child’s bedroom or bathroom).
Recognizing Unhealthy Behavior (from The Child Molestation Research and Prevention Institute, © 2007)
Signs a child is being abused
Touching genitals of others or inducing fear or threats of force
Sexually explicit conversations with significant age difference
Repeated peeping, exposing, obscenities, or pornographic interest
Oral, vaginal, anal penetration of dolls, other children, or animals
Any genital injury or bleeding not explained by accidental cause
Sexualizing relationships or preoccupation with sexual play
Masturbation is constant
Inappropriate Sexual Exposure
Any form of sexual activity with adolescents and adults
Viewing pornography or other sexually explicit material
Witnessing sexual behaviors between adults
Sexual play with another child that is 2 or more years younger or older, or with a child who has more
sophisticated sexual knowledge
A child who forces any sexual activity whatsoever
Inappropriate Sexual Behaviors
Preoccupation with sexual themes, displaying sexually aggressive behaviors
Sexually explicit conversations
Precocious sexual knowledge (e.g., terminology, sexual positions)
Preoccupation with masturbation
Simulating foreplay with dolls or peers
Engaging in sexual behaviors in public, such as sexual exposure, rubbing or masturbation
Identifying Children with Possible Sex-Specific Problems
Any child using sexual language beyond his or her age group. This suggests that the child has been looking
at sexual material or engaging in sexual behavior beyond his or her age group
Any child who acts out sexually at school
Any child who continues to engage in chronic sexually harassing behavior after an adult has told the child
to stop
Any child who others report as having excessively sexually provocative behavior
Any child attempting to get another child or adult nude, especially at school or outside of home
Any child who is overly attentive to younger children (2+ years younger)
Any child suspected of having a sexually transmitted disease
References:
Child Molestation Research and Prevention Institute. (2007). P.O. Box 7593. Atlanta, GA 30357.
www.childmolestationprevention.org.
Darkness to Light. (2007). 7 Radcliffe St., Ste. 200 Charleston, SC 29403. www.darknesstolight.org
Georgia Center for Child Advocacy. (2007). 202 Nelson Ferry Rd. Decatur, GA 30030.
www.georgiacenterforchildren.org
Lipton, Matthew and Weber, Susan J. (1990). “Sexuality Education at Home: The Caring Parent’s Guide.”
www.region.peel.on.ca/health/commhlth/parov1yr/ptplan.htm
Rich, Phil, Ed.D., MSW. (2002). “Recognizing Healthy and Unhealthy Sexual Development in Children.”
www.selfhelpmagazine.com/articles/child_behavior/sexdev.
Talk with your Kids. (2007). “How to Talk to Your Kids About Anything.” www.talkingwithkids.org/first.html
Vanclay, Mary. (2007). “How to talk to your child about sex.” Parent Center. www.//parentcenter.babycenter.com/
Talking to Your Child about Sex & Sexual Abuse (adapted from Georgia Center for Child Advocacy)
Start Early
Children are already hearing about sex through the media and other children.
It is best to start talking with children about sexuality in early childhood.
Always be open and available and listen carefully to what your child asks.
Keep the language simple but always use correct terms.
Do not try to cover everything at once.
Is There Such a Thing as Giving Too Much Information?
No. Information does not encourage a child to be sexually active.
Most parents are uncomfortable talking about sex, so be open about this and don’t cover up your
feelings or avoid the issue.
Children just want to know that they are normal. So teach them that it is “normal” for everyone to be
different.
Answer honestly, and if you do not know an answer, look it up together.
Share your Family Values
Set good examples for children.
Be clear about your values and let them know other families may have different values.
Let children know what you expect of them and help them to understand consequences- Do not use
scare tactics.
Be encouraging- allow them to explore their thoughts and feelings about sexuality.
When a Young Child Asks…
“Where did I come from?”- give them a simple, straightforward answer like “You were made in
Mommy’s tummy, and that’s where you grew until you were ready to be born” or “ A seed from
Daddy and an egg from Mommy mixed together and formed a new baby- you.”
“What is sex?” – “Sex is a kind of cuddling Mommy and Daddy do to show how much they love each
other” or “Sex is a way grown ups who love each other can be as close as possible, to cuddle and kiss
in a special way.”
“How is the new baby going to get out of your tummy?”- Say something simple like “After a long
time, the baby grows too big for Mommy’s tummy, so it has to be born” or “After the baby gets too
big Daddy will take Mommy to the hospital, where the doctors can help the baby to be born.”
Provide older children with more specific information.
Talk to your Children about Sexual Abuse
Plan a time for you and your child to sit down and begin to discuss this topic.
Explain to your child what parts of the body are private and should never be touched by another adult
or child.
Let your child know that if anyone touches them in these private areas they must come and tell youno
matter who it is.
Use everyday opportunities to talk- if he is uncomfortable around a certain person, ask why. If he is
worried by something he sees or hears, talk about it.
Revisit the topic at different ages- talk to your child about relationships, boundaries and sexual abuse
from early childhood through the teenage years.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Childhood Sexual Development (adapted from Georgia Center for Child Advocacy and Darkness to Light) Normal Sexual Development
Infancy - Birth to Age 2
Much of an infant’s learning is sensory related, focused on touch and smell. One of the first things they learn is their own body. Boys discover their penis around 7 months and girls discover their vulva around 9 months.
Infant boys have erections regularly and infant girls lubricate, but this not a response to erotic stimulation.
These are natural responses to touch, friction, or the need to urinate. Children at this age:
Learn about love and trust through relationships with caregivers
Develop a sense of trust
Learn and explore their bodies through the sense of touch, including their genitals
May have spontaneous reactions that appear sexual but are not (e.g., erection or lubrication)
Have no inhibitions about nudity
Begin to learn distinction between male/female and learn expected behaviors
Adults can facilitate healthy sexual development by:
Using correct terms for body parts
Modeling “comfortable” touch (e.g., hugs that are not forced upon the child)
Talking to child about boundaries as the opportunity arises (e.g., during diapering or bath, tell child that
genitals are off limits)
Toddler and Preschool Years - Ages 2 to 5
By the age of 3, children will have a clear sense of whether they are a boy or a girl and they will become very
curious about the opposite sex. Because genitals are usually covered, interest in these areas may be heightened.
This is a great opportunity to introduce the concept of privacy for themselves and others. Teach and
encourage the child to use correct terminology to describe genitalia: penis and vagina. Children at this age:
Develop language to describe genitalia
Should clearly know the differences between males and females and begin to understand male/female
roles
May know basics of human reproduction (e.g., babies grow inside mother’s tummy)
May show curiosity about adult genitalia (e.g., may try to see Mommy nude)
Have no inhibitions about nudity
May play house or doctor, or engage in consensual genital exploration with same-age peers
May masturbate often
Adults can facilitate healthy sexual development by:
Teaching child the difference between comfortable and appropriate touch, and uncomfortable and
unacceptable touch
Modeling comfortable touch by not forcing child to have physical contact (e.g., no forced hugs or kisses,
no wrestling if child protests)
Modeling privacy during bathing and toileting
Giving child permission to be private about his/her own nudity
Using everyday opportunities to teach the fundamentals of sexuality (e.g., if child asks questions about sex,
give simple and direct answers)
Teaching child that touching oneself feels good, is OK, and is done in private
Teaching child to respect others’ boundaries and privacy
Middle Childhood - Ages 5 to 8
Gender role socialization is heightened during this period and children tend to show a strong preference for
gender typed clothing and activity. Some children in this age range will masturbate, but only a minority; it will
increase again during adolescence. Children at this age:
Begin to have more stable friendships with children of the same sex
Will want to be liked their peers and start to feel peer pressure
May be affected by stories they hear in media about violence, sex, or drugs
Understand physical, behavioral, and emotional distinctions between males and females (gender identity
solidifies and stabilizes)
Should have a basic understanding of puberty (some children, especially girls, will show early signs of
puberty)
Should have a basic understanding of human reproduction
May understand differences in sexual orientation
Will begin to become modest about nudity
May masturbate or engage in consensual genital exploration with same-age (and/or same-sex) peers
Adults can facilitate healthy sexual development by:
Respecting child’s need for privacy
Being clear with child about respect for people’s boundaries and need for privacy
Talking with child about bodily responses, especially those that are precursors to sexual response (e.g., “it
feels good to touch one’s genitals), and about what is and is not appropriate during peer interaction
Modeling healthy, intimate adult relationships and effective communication
Teaching child about male and female puberty (by 7-8 years old)
Using everyday opportunities to teach child about sexuality and reproduction (children should know the
“birds and the bees” by no later than 9 years old; research also shows that children whose parents talk
with them about sexuality are less likely to become sexually active at an early age)
Recognizing Healthy Behavior
Why Children Masturbate
Masturbation is normal! There is nothing harmful to the child about masturbation itself. It does not cause
physical or emotional problems for the child. Children often begin masturbating at around 18 months and
will peak between ages 3-5.
For infants and toddlers, this usually involves body sensations, cuddling and touching, and playing with
toys.
Children will masturbate as part of natural curiosity about their bodies.
It can be a form of pleasure or method of self-soothing during times of stress.
Many children engage in sexual behavior and show sexual interest throughout their entire childhood.
These sexual behaviors are usually not overtly sexual, but are more exploratory and playful.
How Parents Should React to Masturbation
Remain calm. It is important for a parent not to overreact to masturbation.
If you catch a child in the act don’t act surprised and do not punish the child. Provide reassurance and
avoid saying anything that can cause guilt.
Punishment can lead to negative effects on the child’s self esteem, body image and later development of
sexual identity.
Explain that this is something that should be done in private (e.g., the child’s bedroom or bathroom).
Recognizing Unhealthy Behavior (from The Child Molestation Research and Prevention Institute, © 2007)
Signs a child is being abused
Touching genitals of others or inducing fear or threats of force
Sexually explicit conversations with significant age difference
Repeated peeping, exposing, obscenities, or pornographic interest
Oral, vaginal, anal penetration of dolls, other children, or animals
Any genital injury or bleeding not explained by accidental cause
Sexualizing relationships or preoccupation with sexual play
Masturbation is constant
Inappropriate Sexual Exposure
Any form of sexual activity with adolescents and adults
Viewing pornography or other sexually explicit material
Witnessing sexual behaviors between adults
Sexual play with another child that is 2 or more years younger or older, or with a child who has more
sophisticated sexual knowledge
A child who forces any sexual activity whatsoever
Inappropriate Sexual Behaviors
Preoccupation with sexual themes, displaying sexually aggressive behaviors
Sexually explicit conversations
Precocious sexual knowledge (e.g., terminology, sexual positions)
Preoccupation with masturbation
Simulating foreplay with dolls or peers
Engaging in sexual behaviors in public, such as sexual exposure, rubbing or masturbation
Identifying Children with Possible Sex-Specific Problems
Any child using sexual language beyond his or her age group. This suggests that the child has been looking
at sexual material or engaging in sexual behavior beyond his or her age group
Any child who acts out sexually at school
Any child who continues to engage in chronic sexually harassing behavior after an adult has told the child
to stop
Any child who others report as having excessively sexually provocative behavior
Any child attempting to get another child or adult nude, especially at school or outside of home
Any child who is overly attentive to younger children (2+ years younger)
Any child suspected of having a sexually transmitted disease
References:
Child Molestation Research and Prevention Institute. (2007). P.O. Box 7593. Atlanta, GA 30357.
www.childmolestationprevention.org.
Darkness to Light. (2007). 7 Radcliffe St., Ste. 200 Charleston, SC 29403. www.darknesstolight.org
Georgia Center for Child Advocacy. (2007). 202 Nelson Ferry Rd. Decatur, GA 30030.
www.georgiacenterforchildren.org
Lipton, Matthew and Weber, Susan J. (1990). “Sexuality Education at Home: The Caring Parent’s Guide.”
www.region.peel.on.ca/health/commhlth/parov1yr/ptplan.htm
Rich, Phil, Ed.D., MSW. (2002). “Recognizing Healthy and Unhealthy Sexual Development in Children.”
www.selfhelpmagazine.com/articles/child_behavior/sexdev.
Talk with your Kids. (2007). “How to Talk to Your Kids About Anything.” www.talkingwithkids.org/first.html
Vanclay, Mary. (2007). “How to talk to your child about sex.” Parent Center. www.//parentcenter.babycenter.com/
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