PEACE THROUGH STRENGTH OF VOICE
I became very aware at a very young age that what I wanted most in life was to communicate with words how I feel, think, believe and I've wanted to reach out in this way first and foremost, although to communicate your feelings you must be very strong for the backlash to keep emotions at bay is in full swing all the time around you, especially as a child....I believe in peace through strength of staying the course with a truth about LOVE being stronger than anything, about LIFE being stronger than simply waiting for death, about BIRTH and the mother/child connection being stronger than any organized religion teaching dogma which keeps the female on the planet silent, invisible, in service, less than.
In reaching out to people through emotion, passion, righteous anger to bring resolution and change, I believe we will continue to cycle with the universe towards a time when humans will bring an end to their need to power over all other living beings. I hope you will join me in reaching out to create dialogue so that people can know who you are, what you feel, though the first impulse is to try to say what others want you to say.
Do not fear anyone and do not make anyone afraid of you. Find some kind of community service to help others.
My work in my past has been rooted in serving the community of people with disabilities, though my belief is we are all disabled in some way, we are all abled in other ways and we must reach out to support each other in the ways we are challenged. In the last two years I have experienced what felt like extreme challenges. For the first time in my life I realized I was going to need to ask for support and help. After being a care giver for over thirty years with and for other people with different disabilities.
In January, 2009, I almost lost my right eye to a retina detachment, I was lucky and got to surgery in time to retain half the sight in that eye. My doctor treated me like I was his friend and he had this skill which could help me heal. Then I began having elevated blood pressure and finally an x-ray revealed I had no cartilage in my right hip. So on 12/2010 I took my first SS check along with my eldest daughter's help,
I flew to LA and had a total hip replacement.
I was thrilled to walk again and play with my grandchildren instead of wincing in pain. But at the exact time of my surgery I lost my housing and job caring for an adult woman with developmental disabilities. A direct result of my confronting and challenging her parents over four years to change their attitude towards their daughter''s care, to be accountable for neglect. On a plane, 3 days after my hip surgery, headed back to Seattle, I received a phone call telling me I was fired. This lost me the only job I had any security with at that time and my partner and I became homeless. My yougest daughter went to work and found us an apartment we could move into.
My being removed from that job was not only harmful to my sense of security, but my life's work has also been to confront injustice in regard to how we regard the value of work. We all know that anyone that works with the human being, i.e. mothers, daycare, nannies, grandmothers, maids, drivers, cooks, etc. are devalued and work harder than anyone on the planet. I will continue Voicing the disparity of this practice for the rest of my life.
I am now living in subsidized housing, I am a minority here not only my race, but also many good neigbors who Christians. My religion has always been nature, birth and to me God is LOVE. There is also lots of poverty and ill health in our population. I pass many people in the lobby in walkers, I take the elevator with people bent over, withered with age and a life of hard work.
What I have found here is that these people have to walk with faith and hope and the majority embrace me and my husband with great joy and acceptance, very little racism against us, though in my heart white people have very little to complain about....I live on less than 100$/mo. after rent & bills now and I know that I've lived a privileged life because I am WHITE and because my adult children back me on every level of my ageing issues.
I walk the streets of South Seattle witnessing the segregation in Seattle. I travel to other parts of Seattle and witness wealth and privilege. And when I feel anger [never envy!] I breathe and pray to allow compassion to flow through me for ignorance that still prevails because people live and act out of fear.
I wanted to raise my children outside the materialistic world. I wanted them to believe that RICHNESS comes from family, from LOVE, from giving to others, to be aware that one cannot live differently than others unless you are willing to believe you are above others. Did I do them a disservice? I don't know. Did I live out my life in this way because I am afraid to be "successful" in regard to my choice in work or my economic status? I think I lived out my life with many challenges because of what I experienced in life and it did limit me for many years, but I know in my heart that my choices are rooted in my solidarity with people who have 'less' than people who have 'more.'
I need very little materially, I crave, however, MORE LOVE, MORE COMMUNITY....I am lonely for the loud clatter of children in my home, I long for my daughters and sons exchange of everyday life.
I am now once again 'divorced, that final third marriage teaching me once again my needs, my beliefs about a traditional marriage, my expectations about being nurtured, though throughout all of those years of being married to I have not found someone to share my life with and while for years I felt I had failed, I realize that I was simply desperate for love and had no idea that my idea of love was not marriage, not being a wife, not being someone that played a role. It was a need to nurture and be nurtured, to share, to be protected and so much more...Anyone who might read this who has this or craves this reality knows how it feels. Safe. Believed. Honest. I don't have to write a lot about that.
Blessings to everyone and may we continue to put LOVE in kindness, generosity, compassion and belief in people with needs.
"And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."-- Anais Nin
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